Before You Begin that Blind Date set up...

Oh dear. There she is. The complimentary grandma you’ll find at most church functions. Here she comes and I just know what is to follow. I wanted to beat her to it, covering my face with my hands and pop out,

“Why you’re just about as cute as my living room wall chatter! Why aren’t you
snatched up yet?”

I'm thinking, 'You do not want your grandson to date me.'
This is the time that I wish my domestic homemaker vibe was not so easy to see. I guess I AM wearing a homemade dress. Blast.

But before she begins the blind date set up, I want to tell her my theme song. It goes like this:

“Hard Hearted Hannah, she came from Savannah G. A.
She pour water on a drowning man,
Oh that hard hearted Hannah….
Got a heart just like a stone
Even nice men leave her alone
Talk about your refrigerating Mamas
Brotha she's a polar bear's pajamas "

My Grandpa Conley used to sing this song to me when I was just little.



And it was probably appropriate because my favorite movie when I was five was Taming of the Shrew.
I’m not sure that’s something you grow out of. I still love all characters resembling the shrew, such as Beatrice from Much Ado about Nothing.



MAYBE that’s it. My explanation to the complimentary grandma. A shrew cannot be tamed by your overzealous BYU boy.

“Would this happen to be him?”

“Oh you already know him!” she says.


“Just a lucky guess.”

I'd like to see this guy put Elizabeth Taylor over his shoulder and spank her.
But he wouldn't.
Its against the honor code.