The Tea Party Test

Three times now. THREE TIMES! I have failed this test. You’d think a quick girl like me would learn.
I think the boys who asked me this must have read that first post where I make fun of the dating question, “So what’s your favorite music /artist?” (click the links to read that post) So now they have a new getting-to-know-you question. I’m not making fun of it. It’s a good question. But just like the other question on what music do you listen too… it’s a test. And THAT’s what I’m about to make fun of. They Say its not a test, but it is my fellow daters. THIS IS a test. Its name sounds innocent, watch out, cuz this could make or break your reputation in religious Utah County.
So it goes like this….

Tester sets up the scenario and says:

“Let’s say you’re having a tea party and you can invite any three people in the
world- future , past or present, dead or alive. Who would you invite? And why?”

So you’ve only got three. And whatever these people represent is suppose to tell them who you really are. The tester will explain that you’ll go back and forth, one at a time as you tell your three invites. And you may say,
“Well you go first.” But that doesn’t’ work. The tester must go AFTER you. Timing is crucial. You’ll see why.

So I have the following people that I pick from, sometimes switching it up for variety but they usually all represent the same things I’m trying to portray to the tester. They are:

Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Mark Twain, Einstein, Bill Cosby, and The guitarist from Swing Kids – had a pie crust crush on’em because of his moral strength and ability to play guitar with only three fingers. YES, I wanted to be his girlfriend.

So he says his second choice, like The Beatles or something for his ‘I’m cool in the 60’s sort of way’ and my third turn is approaching.
I’ve already thrown out Gandhi which proves I’m not racist, I’m aware of past world events, a political, philosophical thinker and supporter of world peace. Check check and check. Is the guy falling in love with me yet?! Right, I know. My second was Mark Twain because I too would love to have witty conversation and get writing tips while Gandhi tells us his story.
Tester: “Okay, your turn!” (Oh I just love turns, thank you. ) “Who is gonna be your last invite?”
Test Flunker says (that’s me): “BILL COSBY!” which once again shows that I am not racist despite my Ebonics blog title and that I appreciate wise people who also value comedic timing.
He’s pleased as punch. But not because he thinks I’m funny and purely unracist. He‘s laughing at how well I have set up his own last invite.

Tester: “k, you ready for mine?” with that smug look.

Failer thinking: ‘No, but go ahead you trickster.’

Tester: “Jesus.”

'Great! Now I’m not religious! And it’s even Christmas time!' Ope! We have a winner.

Failer says: “But wait, no, I need to take one back!" Laughing as though that one just seem to slip my mind. Whoops.

Trickster Tester Says: “Nope, nuh uh. You had your three. You’re exclusive invitations have been sent.”

Hang your head in shame and try to explain how you forgot about that very most important person.
How do I explain my short coming? Its because the “Why part of this test” lays the ground for an emotional moment for me if I were to choose the Savior. Do you want me to say, “The Savior, Jesus Christ because….” And then weep in front of you? I’m not going to do that at Chilis!

But instead, the tea party tables are turned when,

Witty girl says: “Um, are you Mormon? Or does that HUGE CTR ring on your ring finger stand for “CLICK-through-rate” because you work at Omniture?! Cuz if I were you, I would not invite the Savior to a TEA party. And you did not specify DECAFE. NO NO! TOO LATE! My test results are proven. Take me home now you hypocrite. Can I getta Smatchoo please?!